My stressful last week... See, I told you guys I would blog soon!!!!!

           Ok, I went out to Knott's Scary Farm with this guy. While we were at Knott's, this guy (who is a friend of mine, not just a random stranger, by the way) noticed a lump forming in an area we don't need to speak about... :/ It wasn't bad at the beginning so we decided just to not waste the money cuz we already had the tickets, and go in. We had alot of fun and saw all the shows and did the mazes, blah blah blah... but by the end of the night, right before we were getting ready to leave, he started getting sharp pains and the lump had grown bigger.... to the size of an egg... NOT exaggerating. lol

         It was already 1:30 am, but we drove to the emergency room by my house (the drive from Knott's to here is only like 20 minutes or so) and checked in. The whole time we were waiting he was in such intense pain that he was crying and metaphorically pulling his hair out. We got into the room in the back and as soon as he took off his pants to get checked out, the lump burst... it was really gross and smelled nasty. lol Turns out he has sebaceous cysts (infected sweat glands) all over his lower genital area... not on the actual working part... haha And they have been aggravated by his having a vasectomy and the sperm dropping into his body. He's all cleared up now....but they scheduled him for a surgery on the 18th of November to remove a bunch of the sebaceous glands...  (I know, TMI, but there was no other way to explain it.)

       At the hospital, they gave him a prescription for an antibiotic and some percocet. Told me to watch over him because he had never taken percocet before and there could be severe side effects or whatever... mind you, this was after I had been awake for 30-some odd hours. So I'm sitting there after he goes to bed watching him for a little while and the fucker just flat stopped breathing. I slapped him, shook him, bit him (yes I literally bit him), yelled at him, tried blowing a puff of air up his nose... but nothing worked. So I actually had to tip his head back, but I couldn't get his mouth to open, so I covered the outside of his nose with my mouth and breathed really hard, forcing him to breathe. Then, when he started breathing and choking, I called his mom and my mom and they both ran over to help me out. We had to keep him up for another 2 hours so he wouldn't stop breathing again before the effects of the percocet wore out. Then I finally got to sleep. I stayed the next night too, but wouldn't let him take any percocet, just helped him out. Then the next night, I went home.
    Monday night, he was feeling alot better and his kid was over there. He told his daughter to clean the cat boxes while he was in the shower, and she did, but when she went out to the dumpster to take the trash out, she left the door open and their cat, Hope (who used to be mine), ran out. Nobody noticed for about a half hour, then I got a call asking for help cuz Hope was missing. We found her finally under a dumpster... and we couldn't get to her and she wouldn't come out, so we had to fanagle it kinda funny. lol
        Then, nothing happened until last night, when he walked outside cuz he heard a noise. He thought it was an animal and he was going to chase it off. Turns out it was 2 mexicans trying to steal his tires and his daughter's bike! The one guy sucker punched rob in the head and then they ran... still haven't been found.

 

   Now, combine all this with a really great photo shoot with Eric Richter, going to Universal Studios Halloween Haunt, finding 5 really AWESOME pairs of shoes for basically nothing... including a pair of BCBG boots, a pair of Guess shoes, and a pair of teal Bakers heels.  3 Brand names, each worth more then $90, and found with no amount of significant damage (the Guess ones are cut just a bit incorrect on the one shoe, but there's nothing wrong with it. Still in almost perfect condition - manufacturer reject) Maybe I should post pictures of my awesome finds. Anyway, I spent less than I made from my shoot and I got 5 pairs of shoes, a really pretty cardigan, a pair of cute sunglasses, and a few shirts.  AND I still kept enough money to take my kitten to the humane society vet's office and get him fixerrated on the 30th of November. :)    So, I guess in terms of retail therapy, it all worked out. Girls out there, go check out these sales. They are running Black Friday prices this weekend... Wet Seal has a sale where all of their clearance clothes are 5 for $20. And they have a bunch of shoes for $5. :)

 

   Ok, so that's it. My last week. Hope I entertained you. :) Talk to ya'll later!!!!   Yes, I just said ya'll. I'm a southern girl... get over it... hahaha :)

I promise...

that I'm gonna wite again really soon... been through a shitload of shit the past week or so. So... promises!!!

CRAZY WEEK AHEAD!!!

First of all, my Ace is doing much better. He's back to eating normally and playing ALOT. Just like a normal kitten. Much happier now. I can't even grab a photo of him because he keeps running around too much. lol

   Secondly, Bruce asked me what I'm wearing for Halloween. I don't have the money for a new costume, so I'm recycling an old one. Here's a pic -

     My mother, designer and owner of Gothic Lollypops, made it for me a year or two ago and I just love it so much. It's extremely sexy and the place I plan to go for Halloween is a nudist resort, so I can even go topless in it! FUN!!!!!    I also have some other costumes I can recycle, just in case I go somewhere where I need a less sexy option.

     Ok, so now, to my title........ I have a CRAZY week coming up.
                                   --- Tomorrow- Thursday, I go to Knott's Scary Farm.
         --- Friday I have a shoot with Greg, a great friend of mine, and the man who produced the headshot you guys see as my avatar. He's phenomenal and I can't wait to see what comes out of this shoot!!!
           --- Saturday I have a shoot with LAConic... another fan-freaking-tastic photographer... but this will be our first shoot. We are going to do a shoot with above costume... for Halloween greetings... and for my mom's clothing line. :)
    --- Sunday I have a shoot with Eric Richter. Should be fairly short, as we already know the images we are going for. He wants to do this awesome shot inspired by Lord of the Rings... you guys didn't think I knew what that was, did ya? :) Just wait til ya see it!
         --- Monday I am supposed to have a shoot, but I have not heard anything from the guy for a while... I'm thinking it's going to be a reschedule... so maybe Richard... my fantastic photographer friend who I missed his birthday... SAD PASSION FACE :((((........will want to hang out with me????
    --- Tuesday I have a shoot with RPR Photography - artistic nudes outside... unless the weather stops us... then it will be a reschedule.
  --- Wednesday I'm hanging out and shooting with Aaron Cota... another awesome photog friend of mine.
      --- And Thursday I am supposed to go all the way into LA to shoot pin ups with Pars Lucis Photography... sounds French and famous, huh? Haven't worked with him before but his stuff is pretty good, so I'm excited about it!
   THEN, I take the weekend off of modeling to help mom with her Halloween karaoke gigs.

                          So, that's my upcoming week... Crazy right? Lots of modeling.
I'm still trying to figure out what to wear to all these shoots as I have used pretty much everything in my closet. Ugh.....
                            Later, loves!!!

My room is a mess!!! (I went picture happy... just to warn you!)

    I have piles of junk everywhere!    Can you see any dresser in these photos??

                                                  

         I started to clean last night, but got distracted by Farmville. haha Noone really thinks about how long it takes to visit all your friends farms!

                                                      (My farm... hahahaha)

         What's funny is that I don't think I have enough Farmville friends. :( Is it as big of a craze still as it was when it came out? I know Facebook is the biggest and fastest growing social network on the web... but is Farmville the biggest game on FB?? Hmmmm.... someone wanna research that for me? :D haha
    
       Anyway, I am in a generally good mood today. I am no longer feeling sick. Yay! However, my poor kitten is feeling sick. :(   He had to go to the vet yesterday for worming and his first 4-in-1 shot. We also got his nails clipped. Wish they still did de-clawing though. lol I've heard it's very inhumane... which sucks. The wormer medicine was this nasty foaming yellow liquid. Ace did not like it AT ALL. I almost wish I had gotten a picture though, just so we could document his first vet visit. He is feeling a little better now, but he is barely playing. He's mostly just hanging out watching me write.

                                                               Playing in the living room

                              I can never seem to get a good pic with his eyes open if there is flash. :(

                                                                     What, Mom?

                                                   This is my favorite pic of my Ace so far.

                                           Hanging out by the comp watching Mom write. :D


So..... what's new with Passion?   Well.... I'm thinking about changing my name. What do you guys think of Seren Dipity?? lol My mom came up with it. I like it, but I'm just not sure about it. I do think I am a "perfect place of happiness" lol But will it go over well?

   I've done a couple shoots since I blogged last... so before I go... (because I'm almost out of time) I'll put up a whole bunch of photos from the shoots. Hope you like!!!!!!!

These 4 are done by Rey Sison Photography in Riverside, CA. It was my first major attempt at fashion. Take that all you people who think all I can do is nude work! hahahaha I laugh in your face!


   So, to end... a favorite photo of mine from Passive Arts, a fetish club in LA. You can barely see Me, as it was taken by My submissive's cell phone, but I really love it for some reason.

  
                              Ok, now off to my karaoke! Have a good night everyone... and help me get some more followers, yes??? :)
                                          Love,
                                              Passion!

Lonely... :(

Why is it that I always choose this for myself? Instead of letting myself be taken care of, I choose to be an individual and end up lonely. Sitting at home waiting for the next thing to happen... Wondering when the next time will be that I will feel happy and fulfilled. Wondering when I will see the potential I need to see... and when I can realize potential in myself...
   I know I'm going to be successful... I just lose sight of it sometimes... but honestly, does gaining success mean that I have to lose sight of everything else?

I forgot to tell you...

I said on the last blog that I was going to tell you about CieAura, but I think I will let them do it themselves - here's the website. - - -   http://www.cieaura.com/
  ---I put on one of their Energy microchips and immediately felt balanced and full of energy. And there are NO CHEMICALS... nothing enters your system! They have all kinds of different ones and I'm really excited to pass them on and try them all. I think that they could really help my family... but we will see. I'll tell you more about them in the coming year, I'm sure. Whether they work for me and my family. :)

   I'm multitasking tonight... I'm sick so I don't want to move out of the house... in fact my computer is about as far from my bed as I have been for most of the day. I of course got something to eat... I'm not starving myself, even though I am going to be out of my own food soon. lol   Anyway, I'm multitasking... I am writing this blog, watching tv, and beading. that's the most active I'm going to be getting tonight or tomorrow... haha
I had to cancel my shoot with Jason today although I didn't want to. My entire body aches and my nose is running... that's almost tmi though. I'll stop there.

  And now, I'm bored. I have to wait a few hours before I can harvest my crops in farmville... then to bed, sickness wonder! 

The Bonaventure Adventure with Mr. Richard Rasner

So, yesterday, I went with Mr. Rasner (as you all already know, a really awesome friend of mine who happens to be a world renowned photographer), to the Bonaventure Hotel in Los Angeles. It was my job to be a temp for a conference being held there by CieAura (a really amazing company I will tell you about in a minute). I folded boxes, stuffed folders, ran around like a chicken with my head cut off... you know the drill.

   Now mind you, the Bonaventure Hotel is not a normal Days Inn kind of hotel. We are talking 5 STAR HOTEL here. Here's a picture of it - - - -

     - - - - - - - found that on the net.  Let me give you some of the features of this hotel - courtesy of thebonaventure.com - their website - -
                  ---spectacular skyline views, access to over 40 specialty boutiques and restaurants (these are all INSIDE by the way),  widely regarded as a "City-within-a City", the largest hotel spa in LA, 19 distinct restaurants and lounges, a beautifully landscaped outdoor pool deck, the largest ballroom in the city, Signature seven-story atrium lobby, and an Indoor jogging track. This is just SOME of the stuff in this place.
   So here I am, staring at this hotel... and realizing that I have holes in the pockets of my jeans... how fitting, right?

    Anyway, I tried Greek food...a lamb schwama wrap.. it was good, but I don't think I will be revisiting it... as when  think that I ate a defenseless baby creature... it's makes me feel horrible... maybe with chicken next time? lol they are at least allowed to mature... :(

                             But the Greek food was no match t my nighttime meal and antics.

 After my work day was over, I shot in the hotel room with Jenna Black... also a fantabulous photographer... I'm sure I will be featuring her here sometime soon... and then I got dressed to go to dinner with Richard. We get into the glass elevator on the outside of the building (Just so you know, I HATE elevators... so for me to ride this thing... not to mention what I did later in it... hehe... was a feat in an of itself... lol) and we ride all the way to the 35th floor... where there is a Rotating Restaurant and Bar!!! It's already after 11pm so we chose to go to the bar. We were looking at the menu, but we weren't that hungry, so we just ordered some french fries... but wait... no ordinary french fries... FIVE STAR FRENCH FRIES... hahahahahaha  They were actually some damn good fries though... don't know 5 star til you tried it I guess. Even the simple iced tea tasted different and better than normal... But then.. oh then... the piece de resistance.... We ordered DESSERT.   Maple Bourbon Cheesecake with Blueberries and Candied Walnuts.... and Banana Cream Creme Brulee. This was my first creme brulee. HEAVENLY. God, it made up for all the work I did AND MORE. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!
  
    Anyway, then Richard and I commenced with our shoot for the evening... "The Bonaventure Adventure"...
we started in the hotel room with shots on the bed and headboard piece... then a shot in the bathroom and in the closet... then in the glass elevator... the staircase... see where I am going with this?? We tore up that hotel! I dropped my robe in so many places, I could have gone to jail. lol   Richard just put together his zine cover for his website and is allowing me to post it here - - 

    

That's me walking down the staircase showing off my butt... :D I'll let you know when the whole set goes up. It's EPIC!

Anyway, I'm spent... I need a nap. I'm going to write about everything else going on lately in a little bit. I just had to get this out there. :)

Facebook is down! Oh No!!!

How am I to connect with anyone?? lol
   I had a fairly good day today. I slept in pretty late, but with company... so not so bad. (winks!)
I bought a Starbucks caramel steamer and pumpkin cream cheese muffin... which I do not get normally. And I sat and read for a little over an hour.... so far. I like myself when I get to read. My vocabulary improves. I feel smarter. It helps me contemplate life. I think it is also when I am most relaxed. And my most creative... well as long as I have my muse anyway.
   Do you know that I did not create ANYTHING in the last 6 months when I was engaged... until the very end... and that was for his daughter...not for him. lol I made an earring holder out of plastic canvas and adhered skulls to it and a plaque with her name... and a whole bunch of random horror headbands. What's funny is that I don't know if she even got either of these things, as I left him just before her birthday. And if she did get them... did she like them? Does she wear them? I'm really good at these things, so she should like them. I liked them... one of them enough to even wear it myself.... and I made it for a 13 year old.
   Anyway, now I am coming up with ideas again... I am cooking more interesting food... I am sewing and taking on projects for my mom's clothing line... I am organizing photo shoots (Clothed ones!!) with really fantastic ideas... I am even writing again. I finally have my mind back. :)
      I feel like my life is headed in a good direction right now. Which is funny because a day ago I was whining on here about how I couldn't do anything right... blame it on the hormones. lol

I can't do anything right...

I'm so frustrated right now. I don't even know how to explain it honestly. There is a mess of emotions going on in my head and noone seems to be able to understand me.
    I don't want to fuck around anymore. I don't want to have sex with multiple people anymore. I don't want to do erotic photo work anymore. I don't want to be a porn star.
   Why can't people who say they love me respect me enough to not try while I try to grow myself the fuck up where I am FINALLY strong enough to work everything my way? Where when someone jokes with me, the thought doesn't even cross my mind. I just say no bluntly and move on. No harm no foul.
  Why do I feel obligated to do things I did before? Why can't I just say no bluntly and move on with my life? What is wrong with me that I can't grow myself up to the person that I want to be so badly?


----Oh, by the way, my mom says that she is seeing more and more signs lately that I have the same type of epilepsy that she has.... which, SURPRISE!!!! can be genetic.

And on top of everything, I'm not supposed to bleed at all because I have that stupid implanted birth control device, so thank the fact that I AM for the incessant mood swings for the next day or so. Fuck birth control. Fuck sex. Ugh.....

    Also, yes I just realized I gave you tmi. I'm in a bad mood. You will deal. :D

To Eat!!!

I'm really bored, so I thought I would share with you what I ate. lol   The amazing thing about it is that, after I ate it, I realized my whole meal cost only 1 dollar. I'll share how.

   These are the ingredients in my Chicken Teriyaki stir fry. It's very low in calories and tastes natural and fresh.
    - 2 chicken tenderloins (from a bag of frozen tenderloins from Stater Brothers - my local supermarket) This bag cost $6.00, there are 40 tenderloins in said bag... I used 2, which means that each tenderloin is worth $.15. Thus, this part of my meal cost - $.30.
   - 1 small onion (from a local carniceria supermarket). The onions were on sale - 4 lbs. for $1.00 - I got 5 onions - which means this part of my meal cost $.20.
  - 1 whole zucchini (from the same carniceria supermarket). The zucchini were also on a sale - 3 lbs for $1.00. I got 5 zucchini - which means this part of my meal cost $.20.
 - a small handful of spaghetti noodles... to eat as a side for carbs as I will need energy tonight - the 2 lb. bag of spaghetti cost about $3.00 - so I am estimating the amount I used as worth $.10... as I used so very little.
 - garlic powder and onion powder - which I already had in my spice rack - no cost there
 - and teriyaki sauce - added at the last minute for flavor. I didn't use much of this either... maybe a tablespoon. Since the bottle of teriyaki sauce cost about $4.00, I am estimating this as $.20.
      So - chicken - .30
               onion -   .20
              zucchini -.20
              noodles -.10
              sauce -   .20

        TOTAL - $1.00

I highly recommend these local carniceria supermarkets, as their produce is always so cheap and normally in good condition. Happy cheap eating all!!! Now to get dressed and ready for tonight!

What an exciting day for my first blog!

So, I'm sitting here, debating on what to write my first blog here about when I get a notice about a message I received on facebook. It was from my friend Walter Bosley, who is an accomplished writer. He wrote a show for Vegas that premieres in November, he has written a book called "Secrets of the Amazon Queen", and actually has two publishing companies, from what I understand. I happened to meet him through my ex-boyfriend, Jesse (who is an AMAZING actor... but not quite famous... yet) because an actress quit on them last minute for an Independant film they were making called "Greenspot Road". The part required her to be nude under a sheer cover and she seemingly backed out because of a dispute with her significant other. Of course, me doing my nude modeling, Jesse immediately thought of me for the part, and thus, there I am, playing Hekate - Goddess of the Crossroads for his movie. We actually still have some filming to be done on that.

Here's the link to the teaser on YouTube - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mz_2dF7O6kQ 

  Anyway, I flip to facebook and Walter has written me a message about an event he is going to tonight asking if I might be interested in going. He was planning to take someone else, but the venue is only allowing 21 and over guests, so he couldn't take them. So, here was my invite! It's funny that both of the opportunities with Walter have come so very last minute. So, of course, I accepted, without really even knowing what it was. Hey, a night out of the house... Who am I to complain?  Then, when we got into a conversation about it, he tells me that it is the DVD release party in Hollywood for "House of the Wolfman". Apparently, the company who made this movie wants to do business with Walter. Yay Walter!
   So, here I am, completely befuddled as to how to act or what to wear (he told me dressy casual.... maybe I'll post a pic later with what I wore...) but entirely excited at the possible opportunity this may provide. Real actors... real movie company... real producers! Oh God, my heart is a-flutter! lol
   I'm so excited that I haven't eaten yet.... guess I should do that, huh?